What to say to someone who's grieving?


Things You Can Say at a Funeral or Visitation

These phrases are gentle, sincere, and respectful - ideal for most situations:

General Expressions of Sympathy

  • “I’m so sorry for your loss.”
  • “You’re in my thoughts.”
  • “We’re holding you in our hearts.”
  • “My heart goes out to you and your family.”

If You Knew the Person Who Passed

  • “They were such a wonderful person - I feel lucky to have known them.”
  • “I’ll always remember [a specific memory or quality, like ‘her kindness’ or ‘his sense of humour’].”
  • “They meant a lot to so many people.”

If You Don’t Know What to Say

  • “I don’t have the right words, but I’m here for you.”
  • “Just wanted you to know I care.”
  • (Sometimes, a hug, a hand on the shoulder, or quiet presence says more than words.)

Faith-Based (if appropriate to the family)

  • “You’re in my prayers.”
  • “May God give you strength and peace.”
  • “They are with the Lord now.”

What to Avoid

Even with good intentions, certain phrases can be hurtful or dismissive:

  • “They’re in a better place.” (May feel dismissive to the grief.)
  • “At least they lived a long life.” (Minimizes the pain.)
  • “Everything happens for a reason.” (Not comforting in the moment.)
  • Giving advice or trying to “fix” their grief (e.g., “You should…”)


Just remember that your presence matters more than your words.




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